Loss and Pain
by Lovell Luka
Summary: Harry's pregnant with Draco's child, but Draco doesn't want to be involved. Though Harry is determined to carry the baby to term, but things like complicate the situation. Harry may just end up losing his baby. 8th Year, Oneshot. COMPLETE.


Hogwarts: 8th year. (after the fall of Voldemort)

Harry walks out of the Great Hall after giving Draco a surreptitious glance. Harry's standing near a suit of armour several feet away from the large double doors, waiting for the arrogant Slytherin to appear. He sees Draco come out and walk over, looking very impatient.

"What is it, Potter?" Draco hisses angrily.

Harry shuffles his feet awkwardly before meeting Draco's eyes. He's thought of this scenario a thousand times, but somehow his rehearsed lines escape him.

"Draco... I-I..." Harry trails off.

Draco scowls and folds his arms across his chest, "Spit it out, Potter! I haven't got time for this."

Harry sighs and steps closer to Draco, wrapping his arms around Draco's torso. Tentatively, Draco hugs his lover back and comes to rest his chin on the top of Harry's head. Harry bites his bottom lip hard because he thinks he just might cry. All he can do now is pray and hope that Draco won't overreact.

"Draco?"

"Yes?"

"I'm pregnant," Harry finally says.

Draco's reaction is instantaneous and he jumps from Harry's embrace.

"What?" he growls venomously, "You can't be! You're a male!"

Harry shakes his head sadly, "It's rare among wizards, but it can happen."

Draco's eyes flash dangerously as Harry moves closer to him. Harry reaches his hand out to Draco, the he takes visible step back. Harry looks crestfallen at the anger so plainly written all over Draco's face.

"Please, Draco. I love-"

"Shut up!" Draco cut harry off, "I will not be apart of this madness."

"But, Draco... It's your baby." Harry pleads desperately.

Draco lets out a harsh bark of laughter, "We're through! Don't ever speak to me again!"

Harry stands in shock, just watching as Draco walks away, never once looking back.

"Draco... please," Harry whispers only loud enough for himself to hear.

He places a protective hand on his stomach and starts to cry. Harry leans back against the stone wall for support and just lets the tears flow. He stays there for sometime, how long, he doesn't know. Eventually, Ron and Hermione come out to check on him.

"Harry? What happened with Malfoy?" Hermione questions.

He's still sobbing and doesn't bother to look up at her. Ron grasps Harry's robes and holds on tight.

"Harry, are you okay?"

Harry shakes his head frantically, choking on broken sobs. "He h-hates m-me," Harry wails rather loudly.

Ron and Hermione just pull him into a tight hug and don't even bother to detach as students come filing out of the Great Hall.

A few months later, Harry's showing. Malfoy barely has acknolegded his existence, which breaks Harry's heart further, and sadly, everyone in the school knows he's pregnant. He's sure Draco has told the other Slytherin boys about the situation, because several of them, including Blaise Zabini, have been taunting him for weeks. Harry can't even walk down the halls now without them shouting obscenities like '_Slut Potter'_ and _'Fat little whore'._ Most nights, Harry's either laying wide awake, agonising over Draco, or crying himself to sleep. When he does, his dorm mates are none too pleased, but they sympathise with his plight and say nothing.

One day, in Defense Against The Dark Arts, all the students are paired up. Harry's unluckily paired with that foul Parkinson girl. She wears a malevolent sneer as Harry notices her eyeing his protruding belly. He protectively places his hand on his lower abdomen. All the students are dueling, practising defensive and offensive spells. Harry has every right to be worried about Parkinson, especially when she has a feral smirk plastered on her face. While Harry is about to launch a mild offensive spell for her to block, she casts an offensive curse of her own, though it's much stronger than allowed.

"Crucio!"

Harry doesn't have time to react. He instantly drops to the floor in pain, screaming loud enough to wake the dead. Searing pain courses through his body, it feels like he's slowly being ripped apart from the inside. His flesh feels like it's burning, on fire, and all he can think of his the safety of his unborn child. Seconds feel like and eternity as their Professor rushes over to stop this insane madness.

"Expelliarmus!" the Professor shouts and disarms Parkinson.

The pain finally stops and Harry can see straight again, through he's still lying on the floor in a fetal position, clutching his stomach. Ron reaches him before Hermione to help him up.

"Harry!" Ron shouts in alarm.

"Come with me Ms. Parkinson," the Professor says and forcefully grabs her arm. He leads he to the door and says, "Mr. Weasley, take Mr. Potter to the hospital wing, now!"

Ron nods, and turns back to a whimpering Harry. Hermione is at his side too.

"Oh, God. My baby... it hurts," Harry cries, continuing to hold his stomach.

Hermione looks at Ron, fear written plainly all over her features. Together, the hoist Harry up and lead him from the room as all the other students just stare in shock or amusement.

Harry's whimpering and mumbling the whole way their, saying things like, '_Please don't let my baby die' _and _'I can't lose it'_. Tears are continuously streaming down Harry's cheeks as he tries to ignore the pain in his abdomen and be strong for his precious unborn baby.

They reach the infirmary and Madam Pomfrey is in a panic when she sees Harry in such a horrible condition. She immediately rushes over to help get Harry to a bed

"What happened to the dear boy?" she asks Ron and Hermione.

They lay him down and Ron replies, "Parkinson hit him with the Cruciatus curse."

Madame Pomfrey gasps, "That's an Unforgivable!"

Ron merely nods, the Hermione chimes in, "He's having continuous pain in his stomach!"

Pomfrey's eyes grow wide as she says, "He could be having a miscarriage."

Ron and Hermione pale and look down at their friend. Harry's still whimpering and holding his round belly.

"Please," Harry begs, "don't let it die, please..."

Ron and Hermione are frightened for their friend and his unborn child, but there isn't anything they can do, so they must stand back and let Pomfrey do her work. She's by Harry's bedside, casting diagnostic after diagnostic spell as Harry lays there in pain. She then inhales sharply, turning around to look at Ron and Hermione.

"He's losing it," she says with alarm.

Hermione gasps and holds onto Ron. He wraps and arms around her in comfort. Pomfrey hurries off to her office and retrieves a potion and quickly gives it to Harry, who drinks it with distaste. Pomfrey then casts a stasis charm to slow the effects of the Cruciatus curse on the fetus to allow the potion time to take effect.

Harry feels the potion working as the pain lessens some minutes later. Pomfrey casts another diagnostic spell and is relieved. The potion has stabilised the baby's condition and it seems as though it will be fine. She turns to Ron and Hermione with a smile on her tired face.

"The baby's going to live," she says.

Ron and Hermione hug eachother, then move over to Harry's bedside. Harry is calm and greatful that everything is okay.

"Thank you so much. Thank you," he says to everyone.

After that incident with Parkinson, Harry learned that McGonagall had expelled her from Hogwarts. Now Harry's seven and a half months along and he's huge. He's having trouble walking and sitting, and his back hurts all the time. Not to mention his feet are swollen and his breast area feels extremely tender.

"I want this kid out of me," Harry says lightly as he and Ron and Hermione sit in the common room late into the evening.

Hermione laughs. She has been helping Harry with this pregnancy since the beginning; getting all the prenatal books she can find. Whether it be in the school library, or the old book shop in Hogsmeade. She has ordered prenatal vitamins from muggle stores, and had continuously nagged Harry about the benefits of eating healthy. And as such, he has not had a single slice of cake or pie in months and sometimes it drives him up a wall, what with his abnormal cravings and such.

Draco has also been continuing to make himself scarce. Harry rubs his sore belly and wishes that Draco will step up and take responsibility for his child, but her doesn't hold out much hope. Draco occasionally glares at him, though after almost having a miscarriage, no one dares bother Harry for fear of expulsion. And for that Harry is thankful. He could not bear to go through something like that again. It would probably destroy him.

"Oh!" Harry gasps softly, "It's kicking. Come feel."

Hermione jumps from her place on the floor to sit on the couch next to Harry. She places her hand on his large belly and beams in pleasure.

"Oh, Harry," she says and looks like she might cry.

Hermione hugs him tight and he hugs her back. Ron also stands and sits beside Harry. He feels the baby kicking as well.

Ron smiles wide and asks, "What are you going to name it?"

Harry thinks the question over for a moment, "If it's a girl, then I think Melinda. If it's a boy, then I think Ladon. Both names mean '_dragon_' like the baby's father."

Ron nods, seemingly pleased with Harry's name choices. Hermione smiles.

"Those are lovely names, Harry," she encourages.

Harry smiles, then gasps. Both his friends look at him curiously. Then it happens again.

"Ouch," Harry says, rubbing his stomach.

Ron and Hermione look worried. Suddenly Hermione jumps from the couch in disgust which is now seemingly wet.

"Harry! I think your water just broke!" she yells.

Harry grimmaces in pain, possibly from a contraction, "Yeah, you might be right, Hermione."

He tries to stand, but requires the aid of his two friends.

"We need to get you to the hospital wing!" Ron shouts.

"I know. Geez, I'm not deaf," Harry grouses.

"Sorry," Ron mumbles.

Hermione is all in a fuss, "Harry, you can't have this baby now! You're only seven and a half months along. It's too soon. Your baby will be premature!"

"I know that, Hermione!" Harry snaps, "But it's not like I really have much of a choice right now, is it?"

Hermione just looks down sheepishly as they help him through the portrait hole.

They trudge the halls all the way to the hospital wing. Harry's having a fit and silently pleading with his child to wait just a few more minutes. Because he really doesn't want to give birth in a corridor. So they get there, Pomfrey springs into action, running about in a panic frenzy. Harry gets into a bed, while working on his breathing exercises. It's so painful, the contractions are coming more frequent. He's been wearing pregnancy robes for the past couple of months because he can no longer put on trousers. Pomfrey tells Harry's to spread his legs as wide as he can, and he does. Hermione's not squeamish as she stands at Harry's bedside and holds his hand. He's in alot of pain and he's got a death-grip on Hermione, which he feels bad about. Ron however stands a safe distance away, muttering sarcastically about, '_the miracle of life'_.

"Push for me, dear." Pomfrey says.

Harry tries, but it hurts so much. Worse than having to regrow his bones.

Finally, after several hours and late into the early hours of the morning, Harry has given birth. He's exhausted, but he's done it. He's carried his baby to term. Hermione squeezes his hand.

"I'm so proud of you, Harry." she says.

"Yeah, mate." Ron says, now having dared to venture closer.

Pomfrey's in her office with the newborn, she whisked it away as soon as it was born. It's been at least fifteen minutes now, and Harry's a bit curious. Though, Pomfrey appears soon enough. She walks to his bed, wringing her hands as she has a distressed look about her. Harry's thinks he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it at all. Fear bubbles in his chest.

"Potter?" she says in a hushed voice, "He didn't make it. I'm so sorry."

And that's it. Harry's heart drops and he cries. Ron and Hermione hug him, but it really doesn't make a difference. He just sobs into his hospital pillow, mourning the loss of his first child, his _son._

"I didn't even get to hold him!" Harry shouts at no one in particular. Ron just nods solemnly. It's two days after Harry gave birth. His son was a stillborn baby and was taken from him to St. Mungo's infant mortuary. It feels even worse that Harry didn't even get to see his baby before they took him away. And Harry doesn't even know why. All he wanted was the chance to hold his baby, even if only once... and to say goodbye. He was denied that right and it makes him angry.

It's Saturday. Hermione has planned a trip to St. Mungo's for Harry to see his baby before the funeral. They Apparate to the front of the hospital and walk in, Harry striding in ahead of his friends. He talks to the woman at the front desk. She tells him their infant mortuary in on the third floor, last door on the right. He nods his thanks and takes the stairs, Ron and Hermione following. Harry doesn't bother to knock, though he really doesn't need to. A stout, balding man is surprised at the sudden intrusion, but is quickly over it.

"Ah, Hello, Mr. Potter." the man says politely. "Right this way,"

Hermione had informed the hospital through firecall to be expecting them. They are led to the far wall lined with freezer-like drawers for keeping the deceased. The man uses his key to open drawer number thirty-two, where Harry's baby lay. Harry bites his lip as he watches it slowly open, and there he is. Harry's young baby. Barely a couple days old, laying there, bare and cold on the metal slab. A tear falls from Harry's eye.

"Can I hold him?" Harry asks, a tremble in his voice.

The man nods, "I'll give you a moment." He then leaves to his office in the back.

Harry gently lifts his baby and holds onto the small lifeless form. The tears are uncontrollable now, as Harry feels he's lost everything. His lover, mate, and boyfriend; Draco, and now his only child. Harry clutches the baby to his warm body for several long, agonising seconds.

"Good-bye, Ladon." Harry whispers.

Ron and Hermione look on, both overcome with grief as well. Then Harry hears a small whimper and a half cry. He turns to look at his friends, but they're silent. A few stray tears, but that's all. And Harry thinks his deluded mind is playing tricks on him. Until the small weight in his arms shifts. And no... it can't be possible, but it is. Tiny Ladon is actually alive, making soft crying noises in Harry's arms and wiggling a bit. Shock overwhelms Harry as Ron and Hermione rush over, just as stunned as he is.

"Someone! Help, come quick! A healer, get a healer!" Harry babbles loudly, and the man in his office hears the commotion.

Shock is evident on his face too. "Right this way, Mr. Potter." he says and leads Harry to the emergency ward.

The healers waste no time as they put Harry's son into and incubator. Harry watches for hours as they work quickly to try and stabilise his baby. They give young Ladon an I.V. an oxygen mask and perform several powerful, high level spells that Harry can't even fathom. Ron makes a run to the canteen to retrieve some swill they call '_coffee' _for his tired friends. Harry mumbles a thanks and sips the way-too-bland coffee.

A few minutes later, a healer comes out, smiling. "Mr. Potter?" he asks and Harry jumps to attention. "Your son is going to be just fine. It's an absolute miracle. Another day in the mortuary would have actually killed him."

Harry is relieved and confused, "How did this happen?"

The healer gives a grave look, "Sometimes babies appear to be stillborn, but in actuality, they just have a very, very faint pulse. One that is almost undetectable. A healer might make the mistake of thinking a baby is already dead and will declare it deceased rather than try and revive it. It's a horrible shame, really." The healer says, seemingly pensive.

Harry suddenly feels so much sadness for all the parents out there that could have gone through the exact situation he's going through now, and so he has to change the subject.

"Can I see my son?" Harry asks.

"Yes." the healer says and brings him into the room.

Baby Ladon is still in the incubator, but he looks healthy. Very healthy. And Harry's ready to bust at the seams with joy as he starts crying again.

"My son," he says looking at his child, "I love you."

It's now three weeks later. Harry brought Ladon back to Hogwarts after a few days. He spends most nights tending to his cute little bundle. Ladon melts Harry's heart consistently with his sweet face, bright hazel-grey eyes, and little tufts of dirty-blonde hair. Harry gave Hermione some galleons to buy a crib. And McGonagall has given Harry his own private room for the rest of the year, so that he can spend time with his baby without disturbing the other Gryffindors. Though, Harry's room is attached to the Gryffindor common room by a short stretch of hall. Harry is very pleased. He takes Ladon to Hagrid, who babysits everyday while Harry attends classes. Everything is wonderful... well, sort of. Draco still isn't apart of the baby's life. He hasn't even seen the baby, but Harry's determined to change that.

Draco's sitting under a cherry tree. It's the afternoon and classes are out for the day. Harry's standing a ways away, holding his son, and watching the Slytherin carefully. Harry steels his nerves and walk up to his ex-lover.

"Draco?" Harry says.

Draco looks up with an irritated glare, which quickly dissolves when he sees the infant clutched in Harry's arms.

"Yes?" Draco inquires.

Harry sighs, "I'd like to introduce you to your son. Ladon Abraxus James Malfoy." he says and carefully sits beside Draco.

Draco inhales sharply. "My son?"

Harry nods, "Yes, _your_ son."

Draco trembles slightly as he looks into Ladon's tiny, sleeping face.

"May I hold him?" Draco asks meekly.

Harry smiles and obliges. He delicately shifts the baby into Draco's arms, so that he doesn't awaken. Draco smiles faintly as he holds onto the small body. He looks utterly lost, like he doesn't know how to handle a baby, but happy all the same.

"My son," Draco breathes and looks very happy and seemingly sorrowful.

Draco looks at Harry, and though he's never been good at apologising, he says, "Harry. I'm... sorry."

Harry nods. And though it's not completely all right what he did to Harry, it can all be mended. Starting with Draco's involvement in their son's life. They may never be together again, but at least Ladon will have both of his parents.

Draco just continues to coo over his infant son. They stay under the cherry tree until the sun falls behind a veil of purple clouds.

~Epilogue~

Five years later. Harry's graduated and living with his son at Gimmauld Place. Ladon has just turned five and he's learning all sorts of things. Draco stops by often to spend the day with them. He lives in a nice flat in wizarding London and sometimes Harry and Ladon go there to visit. Harry and Draco have never really been able to rekindle their fragile relationship, but they're on good speaking terms and they are respectful of one another. Just as good parents should be.

"It was nice of you to stop by, Draco." Harry says as he follows Draco to the door.

Harry grabs Draco's coat from the closet and hands it to him. Draco smiles and puts it on. Harry smiles too and steps closer, decidedly fixing Draco's up-turned collar.

"It was nice seeing you and Ladon. Maybe we could have dinner at my place next week?" Draco says, full of sincerity.

Harry smiles too, "We'd like that."

Ladon is playing in the living room with the new toddler broom Draco bought him, and he's having a blast.

"Sweet heart?" Harry calls to his son, "Daddy has to go bye-bye."

Ladon quickly scampers into the front entrance and attaches to Draco's leg in a hug.

"Bye Daddy," Ladon says.

Draco bends down to pick up the boy and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Bye, sweetie. I'll be back soon." he promises.

Draco hands Ladon to Harry and exits the home. Harry stands in the door-way with Ladon in his arms. They wave to Draco as he stands out in front of the house before he Apparates. Draco waves back and then he's gone. Harry closes the door and sets his son down. Harry smiles and leans against the door. That Malfoy, he's so lovely sometimes. Harry thinks he might be having feelings for that prat again, but it's okay. Everything's okay now.

"C'mon, Dadda!" Ladon shouts and grabs Harry's hand, "Let's go play with my new broom!"

Harry smiles and lets his son drag him back into the living room. Yes, everything is _definitely_ okay now.

~Fin~

Disclaimed.

A/N: This is for TheViolinsAngel's challenge; Pregnancy is Complicated. I hope you've enjoyed this. Please review if you like this story. It means alot to me. I love knowing what you all think. Thanks.

Bye, lovlies. Until next time. ;)

Story Image by Kagan Mcleod. 


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